This past week while spending time with my wife's family, my father-in-law and I spent quite a bit of time at Healthsouth of North Houston. Healthsouth is the current resident of my mother-in-law's mother, Wanda Dennis (Ashley's grandmother). Ms. Dennis suffers from Alzheimer's. Her neurological disease in addition to the surgery and stroke she's gone through over the past two months have left her body and mind under an incredible amount of stress. The result of the stress has lead to an increasing loss of her short term memory. While her doctors are hopeful that she may be able to regain some of the memories lost due to her stress level, she remains in the rehabilitation hospital for the time being. The purpose for my father-in-law and I's visits were to receive and apply mobility training in order for Ms. Dennis to leave the hospital for Thanksgiving day. After getting her to and in the car on Thanksgiving my father-in-law went back inside the facility to make sure we had everything we need for her day away. She and I sat in the car waiting.
November 27th 2008 1:55 pm - Thanksgiving Day
Ms. Dennis - Now what is your relation to me?
Me - I am Ashley's husband.
Ms. Dennis - That's right, I went to your wedding.
Me - Thats right.
Ms. Dennis - It was a beautiful wedding. Why am I here?
Me - You had a stroke Ms. Dennis. You are here to get better, but me and Julian are taking you out for the day. It's Thanksgiving.
Ms. Dennis - I had a stroke? Thats right. How long ago was that?
Me - It has been about a month now.
Ms. Dennis - It has? (pause) Where is my husband? (My heart sinks and I begin to feel a knot in the back of my throat.) He's dead, isn't he?
September 18th 2005 1:15 pm - The day after Ashley and I started dating. I am in Lubbock visiting my family for the day.
(My cell phone rings.)
Me - (seeing it is Ashley) Hello?
Ashley - (sounding sad) Hi.
Me - What's wrong?
Ashley - My parents just called. (pause) My Grandfather just died.
Me - Ashley I am so sorry. I will head back to Abilene now.
Ashley - No. Enjoy your time with your family, I will see you tonight.
(I hurry through lunch and leave early anyway.)
March 15th 2008 6:45 pm - Waiting to escort my mom down the isle at mine and Ashley's wedding.
(I turn to see Ms. Dennis sitting in the back of the church foyer with her son Mike. They are waiting for their turn to walk down the isle.)
Ms. Dennis - Joel, we sure are happy to have you as part of the family.
Me - Thank you. (I bend down to hug her).
Ms. Dennis - You are a lucky man. Ashley is a wonderful girl. You will make her happy.
Mike - It's time to go mom.
Ms. Dennis - Welcome to the family.
November 27th 2008 1:56 pm - Thanksgiving Day
Ms. Dennis - He's dead, isn't he?
Me - Yes ma'am
Ms. Dennis - How did he die?
Me - I am not sure.
Ms. Dennis - How long ago was it?
Me - (remembering the phone call) A little over three years.
Ms. Dennis - I miss him.
Me - From what I have been told he was a great man.
Ms. Dennis - Oh. He was. (pause) Now what is your relation to me?
Me - I am Ashley's husband.
Ms. Dennis - Oh that's right. I went to your wedding. It was beautiful.
Ms. Dennis was right, even if she didn't know the full meaning of her words to me on my wedding day. I am very lucky man. Ashley is a wonderful girl, but more than that she also has a wonderful family. A family I am proud to now be a part of. I spent a good portion of my day, on Thanksgiving, sitting and talking with Ms. Dennis, trying to help in what ever way I could. I don't know if she even knows that I helped. I guarantee she doesn't know how much she has helped and encouraged me. In my life I strive, and will continue to strive to be a good man, a man that my wife will be able to say was a great man. A man worthy of my bride and the wonderful family I am now a part of.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Ms. Dennis
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Coffee House Confessions: Thanksgiving Holiday
Today I celebrate my first Thanksgiving without my immediate family. Marrying into a wonderful family my wife and I chose to spend our first Thanksgiving together at her parents home. Tuesday afternoon we loaded up the car and made the three and half hour drive from Tyler to Magnolia. Our first night in town we began looking for a valid form of entertainment for the entire family. Our journey led us to Wal-Mart in search of a fun board game for the whole family. We quickly picked up the game Yahtzee and on our way home stopped by Starbucks.
Before I met the Hawthorne family the only other time I had ever played Yahtzee was years before with my Grandmother and sisters in Mobile AL. The game consists of each player taking turns rolling five dice in search of different number combination. As we sat around the table playing the classic dice game and sipping our lattes I was reminded more and more of home. Some of the greatest times I have had with my family, new and old, have been while sitting at the kitchen table playing a game. Close to midnight with our Starbucks cups empty and in the trash and our Yahtzee cards half full, I was in the lead but to tired to play any more. We went to bed sore from laughter and ready to enjoy our more of our holiday together the next day.
Drink of Choice: Cinnamon Dolce Latte
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Coffee House Confessions: Falling in Love Over Starbucks
While I would like to say that I do not drink Starbucks, a company that not only represents but leads the way in evil corporate America, I truly have a weakness for grossly overpriced blended coffee drinks. In September of 2005 I began dating my now wife, Ashley. One of her favorite indulgences that I quickly realized was the previously mentioned international-mega-enterprise. Frequently we began going to our local Starbucks, a routine that only furthered my liking blended coffee drinks.
While I may have spent more money than anyone ever should at the coffee chain, I was also making another kind of investment. I made an investment of my time. Some of the greatest moments of my life, to date, happened while sipping a Starbucks drink. The result of that investment was more than a relationship. I fell in love over Starbucks.
It was the time we spent at a table inside, or in the car waiting in the drive through that I fell in love with her. It was the surprise Frappuccino in the afternoon and the smile on her face. It is the giddy look, that she still gets when Starbucks is mentioned. But most of all it was that we enjoyed our drinks together that made me fall in love with her. It was over Starbucks that I really learned who Ashley was. We still go to Starbucks. At times I still think I spend to much money, but I am also getting to know my wife more and more and that, to me, is priceless.
Drink of Choice: Grande Green Tea Frappuccino® Blended Crème double blended
Monday, October 27, 2008
Coffee House Confessions: The Leaf & Rummy
One of my favorite coffee shops is The Leaf. It is a cigar/coffee shop in Abilene. The atmosphere is one that is laid back, comfortable, and usually a little smoky. While the store's focus of sales revolves around cigars and other tobacco products they also have a very enjoyable coffee selection.
The time I spent at The Leaf was usually spent with brothers from my fraternity, ΚΦΩ. Long afternoons and late nights were spent enjoying brotherhood coffee and cigars at the small business in downtown Abilene. With free wi-fi offered we did everything from watch LOST, to debate theology. No matter what the conversation led to there was most always one constant, Rummy.
The card game has many different ways to play. Most anyone who has played a rummy game has had different rules in playing it. Ours was no different. Accommodating game play from two up to five people there was almost always a game started soon after walking in the door. With trash talk and competitive natures flying the games were always interesting, even if just to watch. I once even lost everything I owned to Jay Patterson (he graciously gave it all back). The memorable thing about Rummy at the leaf wasn't winning or losing. It wasn't about a game, cigars, or coffee. What was memorable was that we lived life together. We grew in our bonds of brotherhood. When we walked out the door we soon forgot the score of the card game but our friendships are something that will never be forgotten.
Drink of Choice: Dr. Pepper
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Its funny because it could happen
The funniest thing about this video is that I know people who this could actually happen to. In the realm that exsists below intellegent thought there is a place reserved men who, in the spirit of competition, slip under the line of existing and into a paradoxical universe where retardation is awarded as the highest honors. It may not be a pretty sight to see. It may discourage many from procrating. But, it sure is funny.
